Jack and the Kite Wars: An Aerial Fairy Tale

As I recover from the flu, allow me a bit of hallucinatory storytelling from the highly entertaining 2013 Singapore Kite Festival last week.

—

Once upon a time, there was a yellow smiley faced kite named Jack.

He liked to fly.

So off he went. Doot doot!

He flew to the city, where there were very tall buildings. Woo!

He met a lot of friends of different sizes…

…shapes, and colors.

One day, Jack was recruited by the Penguin…

…who worked for Kung Fu Panda…

They wanted him to join their kite army to go against a great villain, who wanted to take over the skies.

Jack said yes, so off they went.

Jack was scared and excited at the mission. They patrolled the skies in search of the great villain.

Then finally, Captain Squid screeched, “Chaargggee!!!” 

Sure enough, Spiderman was just around the corner.

And the kite wars began.

It raged for two hours, and finally it stopped. And they won.

Hurray.

Afterwards, Jack went off on his own.

And met a girl.

They dated and lived happily ever after.

And made kite babies.

The end.